


Effect doesn't always have a cause.

by BarPurple



Series: Sherlolly Against the World [12]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Caring, Depression, F/M, Insecurity, Love, Mental Health Issues, Smoking, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 07:13:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5196977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarPurple/pseuds/BarPurple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock’s moods were mercurial and a dark one like this often had no rhyme or reason; it simply was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Effect doesn't always have a cause.

The fact that Toby was waiting for her at the top of the stairs made Molly’s heart twist. Her beloved moggy had adjusted to life at 221B with surprising ease, but there was one situation that the furball didn’t like and it was the only one that would have his sitting here looking mournful waiting for her to come home from work.

Sherlock was in a dark mood.

She stooped to petted Toby, unconsciously checking him for injuries. If she had been aware of what she was doing she would have hated herself. Sherlock would never intentionally hurt Toby, but in the grip of a dark mood he could be careless and cruel. As she straighten up she caught the smell of tobacco, it was strong and fresh. Molly closed her eyes and bit back the sigh that tried to escape her. Sherlock smoking in the flat was never a good sign. This was going to be a rough night.

Squaring her shoulders as she stepped past Toby, Molly Hooper prepared to do battle with the demons that held her boyfriend’s mind in their grip.

Sherlock sat in his chair, a full ashtray balanced on one armrest, two packets of Benson and Hedges and a lighter on the other. As Molly hung her coat up and toed off her shoes he drew in lungful of smoke from the lit cigarette between his fingers. She was ready for the sneer that twisted his features as she turned to face him, but it still stabbed at her. His face didn’t change as she wordlessly walked into the kitchen, but his eyes followed her movements.

Molly bit her tongue at the state of the kitchen; shattered glassware littered the skirting board of one wall and spilled liquid dripped from the surface of the table. It would have surprised anyone else that she smiled slightly as she found the kettle intact and clean. That he hadn’t destroyed the means to make tea was telling; form Sherlock Holmes that was as good as a verbal plea for help.

He’d opened another pack of smokes by the time she returned to the living room carrying two cups of tea. She placed one on the arm of his chair next to the ashtray and sat down in the chair she still thought of as John’s. Molly held her own cup in both hands and looked at Sherlock. The sneer was still in place and only increased as he deliberately dropped his half smoked cigarette into the steaming cup of tea. With quick sure movements he shook another from the pack and had it between his lips almost before the hissing from the drowned one stopped.  
He paused with the lighter a few inches from its goal and glared at her. Molly had not made any response to his behaviour. With a flick of his thumb he ignited the lighter and sucked the flame towards the end of his cigarette. The inhale was long, slow and held with in his lungs before being blown in a cloud towards Molly. When she failed to respond he snapped;

“What?”

Molly took a sip of tea before she replied.

“Is there anything spilled in the kitchen I need to be worried about?”

Sherlock’s eyes rolled in disdain, but flicked towards the kitchen table. It was a minute gesture of concern, but Molly spotted in and it gave her hope. The tone of his voice was still snide when he spoke.

“So what if there is? If you don’t like the way I am leave.”

Ash from his cigarette scattered on the floor as he swept his arm towards the door.

“I’m not leaving Sherlock. The flat or you.”

The sound he make was somewhere between a huff and a tutt and dripped with tangible disbelief.

“Of course you’ll leave me. You’re not such an idiot that you’ll put up with me forever. You’ll give into your desires for a ‘normal’ relationship.”

The venom with which he spat the word normal almost made her flinch. If she found out that some idiot had called Sherlock a freak today they would suffer; though not too much, because at least their thoughtless stupidity would offer an explanation for Sherlock’s current state of mind. In all probability there would be no simple reason, nor a satisfying resolution. Sherlock’s moods were mercurial and a dark one like this often had no rhyme or reason; it simply was. She took a breath to steady her voice.

“I don’t want whatever the rest of the world considers normal. I have everything I want in you. And I will take the dark and ugly right alongside the happy and light.”

Sherlock didn’t say anything, but the sneer slid from his face. Seeing that he’d retreated into his mind palace Molly got to her feet and made a start on cleaning the kitchen.

The shattered shards of glass had been swept up and placed in the sharps bin she’d installed in the flat. From the size and shape of the pieces she’d made a running list of what she would need to order from the lab supplier. The puddle of liquid turned out to be diluted bleach which certainly helped in the clean-up process. As she worked she heard Sherlock rise from his chair. She tensed a little ready to give chase if he bolted from the flat. The man could creep up on Toby, but he’d let her hear his movements and with a small nod she relaxed as the bathroom door closed and the shower started.

Molly moved into the living room and collected the ashtray and cups. She dumped the fetid contents into the bin and tied the bag off, before scrubbing the ashtray clean. By the time she’d hidden the remaining cigarettes and opened the living room windows the shower had stopped and she could hear Sherlock in the bedroom. She filled the kettle again and started to make two fresh cups of tea. As the bags were steeping Sherlock came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

He smelt of fresh mint and pine as he buried his head into her shoulder, but there was still a lingering trace of tobacco that wouldn’t fade for a while. Molly held on to his arms as they gripped her to him.

“I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry.”

His words were muffled against her skin, but the raw emotion in them was obvious. She started to sway gently, rocking them into a soothing rhythm.

“Did anything trigger this?”

She felt his head shake and turned around in the circle of his arms. He kept his eyes downturned and hid his face into her neck as she pulled him in tightly to her. She rubbed soothing hands over his shaking shoulders as he sobbed. With a sniffle he turned his head and whispered in her ear.

“I’m scared I’m going to lose you. There are so many reasons for you to leave me.”

“I love you Sherlock and no matter what horrible scenarios your mind threw at you today I will fight every single one and stay with you.”

He eased back from her and finally met her eyes. He looked so sad, but there was a spark of hope in his eyes now.

“I can overcome anything with you by my side, Molly.”

Her small hand found his cheek and she used her thumb to wipe away a single tear from the corner of his eye.

“You and me Sherlock. We’ll beat anything the world throws at us. Together.”

He pulled her in tight to his chest and murmured his thanks and his love into the soft waves of her hair.

**Author's Note:**

> "What brought this on?" can be an impossible question to answer when depression has you in it's grip. Sometimes there is no clear reason as to why you've hit rock bottom. Sherlock expresses his fear of losing Molly in this, but that's what the dark mood taunted him with. Depression doesn't need a reason to come out to play and looking in vain for a reason that isn't there only makes everything worse.
> 
> If you know someone with depression, don't assume they are lying, or hiding something because they can't give an answer to an impossible question.
> 
> Here ends the lesson.   
> Normal Sherlolly service will resume soon.


End file.
